HIZASHI

no i don't want him back, why should i try to tame him ? life has made its calling on him. and life didn't have it in his shelve that he'd actually fight for something or at least trust in my power to make it happen.
do i miss him ? i'm not really sure - i miss the way i was feeling with him, once - this feeling of fresh wind in my guts riding the motorcycle through the streets of a spanish summer...the feeling of having a conversation with someone that just hadn't in him to get into a fight with me...
but as the summer goes by so does that something else - everyday life kicks out the butterflies as reality kicks in. i miss my selfconfidence, my selfefficiency, the ability of feeling the power when being alone. i miss this feeling of adventures waiting for me just a step out of the door away, but now it seems that i've lost my life by adjusting to reality, by trying to make things work, by trying to secure something that felt promissing but in the end wasn't set in reality.
no i don't want him back - i want me back in the days before i lost myself to him.